How can you find a balance between maintaining your indispensable status at work and your sanity? Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and if you work in a place where you’re only as good as the last thing you’ve done, not all of this advice may work for you. However, in many cases, once you’ve created a reputation for being helpful and agreeable, carefully choosing times to say “no” may not hurt your work reputation, and may actually earn you additional respect.

How can you say no without risking it all at work?

Choose the situation carefully.

If everyone is stressed to the hilt, you’re up for a promotion and the boss comes to you with a desperate request for help, it’s probably not the time to decide you’re going to change your reputation as the “can-do” person in the office. On the other hand, if things are a bit more stable, and it seems like there are plenty of people who could help out, you should have more leeway to indicate if your plate is already full. See the following suggestions for ideas to say no instead of yes.

Learn to say no, without saying no.

Perhaps your boss forgot about all of the other crucial work you are doing. Instead of saying, “No, I cannot take on one more project,” say, “I can see how important this project is. Can we sit down for a few minutes so you can help me prioritize my work? I want to be sure to focus on the most important things.”

In this meeting, make sure you don’t forget to include any key projects (or even day-to-day work) you’re managing. If you can make a solid case indicating that you really don’t have time to handle another thing, it’s possible you can say “no” without actually uttering those words.

Suggest an alternate solution.

Perhaps you are too busy to take on the work by yourself, but you can handle one part of the project. If you have a specialty area (for example, you’re the best at analyzing data), suggest that you could manage that piece of the project in partnership with someone who specializes in the research piece.

No doubt, this is a tricky conversation, as you are trying to deflect pieces of a project away from you. However, if you maintain an enthusiastic, “can do” approach and communicate in a way that will resonate with your boss, it’s possible you can trick him or her into thinking you’re still saying “yes,” even though you are really saying “no.”

Put your foot down, but have a really good reason.

What qualifies as a “good reason” will vary from office to office. Condolences to you if you work in a place where there are no good reasons – perhaps you are in the wrong job and it is time to look for a new job that values your time outside of work.

If you already have planned time off to attend a family wedding or your child’s graduation, and this new project will interfere with that, you may choose to tell your boss you cannot help. Ideally, you won’t lead the conversation with the word “no.” Instead, choose your words carefully, remind your supervisor that you always like to say yes, but the circumstances this time mean you’d like to help by coming up with another solution.

Originally appeared on AOLJobs.com.

The post Can you say no to your boss? appeared first on Keppie Careers.

What not to say to your boss

It’s easy to become too familiar with your supervisor. When you work long hours, and it’s a collegial environment, your boss may seem like just another one of the team. Don’t forget that your supervisor isn’t a buddy or a friend; he or she is in charge of a big piece of your career while you are in this job. Everything you say can, and will, be used against you.

Here are 11 suggestions of what not to say to your boss, no matter how friendly you are.

I’m bored with my job. Maybe you are bored, but never tell anyone at work, especially not your boss. A better approach is to identify challenges you’d like to take on and suggest your boss let you take on additional responsibility. No one wants to know if you are bored at work, so keep it to yourself, or you may find yourself looking for a new job (http://www.keppiecareers.com/how-to-find-a-job-when-you-have-a-job).

Are we having fun yet? Don’t try to be cute or funny, especially if it’s a tense or uncomfortable time. Even if you know your boss well, you may find a statement like this falls flat, and can work against you later. If you want to win influence, keep on task and don’t say anything to suggest that there might be anything better to do.

It it closing time? Never give the impression that you’d rather be anywhere other than work. Even if your job isn’t exciting, when you’re at work, focus on it and don’t let on that you’re watching the clock like a hawk. You may find yourself without a job.

Anything followed by “but.” For example: “I’m a team player, but…” or “I don’t mean to complain, but…” That “but” effectively erases anything that comes before it. If you don’t mean to complain, there is no “but.” If you are a team player, don’t give your boss any reasons why you cannot. Think about how you present yourself. If you say something like this once, it’s likely you’ve said it many, many times. Cumulatively, it’s not making a good impression on your boss.

(Insert complaint here), and I’m not the only one who feels this way. Even if you really are speaking on behalf of a lot of people, you will rarely win when complaining to the boss as the presumed ring leader of the entire team. Do not appoint yourself the spokesperson for the team. Most likely, your boss will see you as the complainer who is trying to benefit from the fact that your colleagues are not complaining.

I’m so tired. No one cares how tired you are. Get some sleep outside of work, and if you’re tired at work, address it with a cup of coffee, take a quick walk outside, or steal a nap in your car during your lunch hour.

Did you hear the one about… Don’t joke, your jokes aren’t funny. Maybe your friends think you are a veritable stand-up comedian, but don’t make jokes around your boss. Humor is very personal, and it’s just as likely that your joke could offend your boss at the worst or make him or her a little uncomfortable at best.

You’re not going to believe what my husband/wife/significant other said or did. Keep your personal life out of the office. Most importantly, do not share the lurid details of what goes on at home with your boss.

I’m voting for…Just as your personal life doesn’t need to make its way to work banter, keep your political views to yourself. Even if you think your supervisor agrees with your opinions, discussing politics in an otherwise non-political workplace can only cause trouble.

Did you hear the latest? Gossip of any kind is not appropriate, especially when the boss is involved. Don’t share anything you’ve heard about co-workers, and stay above the fray whenever you can where gossip is concerned.

No, I can’t. While there may be many situations where you are not able to get a particular project done, it’s not wise to simply tell your boss “no” when presented with a challenge. An alternative may be to ask for time to think about the project and plan how to get it done. It’s reasonable to make a clear case for additional resources (including human resources) that you need to handle a particular task, but try to avoid saying “absolutely not” if you can help it.

photo by Black Country Museums

The post What not to say to your boss appeared first on Keppie Careers.